No one really tells you, the newly pregnant woman with the great glow, anything about what its truly like to have a little human enter your life and turn it completely upside down. Don’t get me wrong, EVERYONE loves telling you about how much pain they were in during labour, how long their labour lasted and how many stitches they needed to receive after their little one came into the world without forgetting one little detail but no one ever really gets to the nitty gritty of being a mother or father.
As naïve as it sounds, I honestly thought that my life wouldn’t really change that much. I just thought that I’d have the same lifestyle, same free time and same old routine as I had when I was any other 20 year old but with the added bonus of having a mini me. And then after 3 days of slow labour and 8+ hours of active labour, there she was. And she wasn’t even my mini me, she was her fathers! My life has most definitely never been the same since. I have never been this happy, this stressed, this worried and sometimes, so mentally and physically drained in all my life.
Some days are harder than others. Some days you’ll need to call for some backup and as soon as they come, you just need to leg it up the stairs to hide under the duvet for a few minutes and then other days are the best days of your life. Many days you’ll need to lower the bar of what you think is doing a good job. Maybe you doing a good job is only saying ‘fuck’ in your head around twenty times instead of a hundred or that you actually managed to get yourself and your child dressed before 12pm and other times it can be that you’ve actually managed to go to the park and clean the house with only having to watch one hour of Peppa Pig that day.
Hattie may read this back and think ‘damn, you took my first few years for granted’ and many of you may be reading this and thinking exactly the same but believe me when I say that I have not taken any of this amazing adventure for granted. I have loved every single day even if some days I do end up in tears and in need of a massive alcoholic beverage. The amazing thing about children is one minute their having a tantrum because you’ve tried to stop them from eating some old food they somehow found from under the sofa or because you told them not to stick their finger in the plug socket but then in the next instance they are cuddling you and kissing you and running around shouting mama with the proudest of looks on their face. They’re incredibly unpredictable and sometimes that’s a haunting thing and other times, its the most amazing thing.
What really needs to be said about having children is that some days you do end up reminiscing about the past more than other days and some nights when you’re begging your child to go back to sleep that having a little cry from being overtired is all bloody normal.
Everything you’re more than likely doing is all bloody normal. Your emotions are to hell. You have someone who you love more than you could ever imagine but sometimes they can push you so far that you do need to hold your hands up, admit that its hard to do it all on your own, have some help and take a good damn rest.
Mothers may be the new modern day superhero but come on, don’t even superhero’s need days off?