Mama quotes Monday.

Sometimes there is nothing nicer than sitting down, putting your feet up, drinking a warm cup of tea and watching your little one play. Enjoy it, revel in the quiet but then, get up, put your tea down and sit on that damn floor and play with them. Watch their little faces light up when you simply sit down and ask “what are we playing?” They love it.

They not only depend on us for keeping them alive, making sure their safe and feel loved but they also depend on us to help their imaginations grow, to laugh with them, tickle them and be their friends.

Some days I don’t want to play Barbie’s for the 100th time or play mammies and daddies with 8 dolls coming out of my eyeballs but I do it because that’s what Hattie needs. She needs to be able to not only play alone but to play with us, her parents.

Some days I am too busy to sit down all day playing with every single toy Hattie has and that’s life, there’s nothing that can be done about that but I do make time, every single day to play or to throw some Disney music and Taylor Swift on and have a major dance party that only consists of two people. Those are the moments you’ll remember when they’re 18 and no longer want to have dance parties with you not the washing you didn’t get through or the funny video on Facebook you didn’t get to watch.

Fleeting moments turn into missed years. In the words of Roald Dahl, don’t be a stodgy parent, be a sparky one. Your child will always thank you for that.

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10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a mother.

  1. Expect the unexpected. Not much goes to plan, but that soon becomes the only plan you know.
  2. Get used to being late for almost everything, even school sometimes. My child hates Monday mornings nearly as much as me.
  3. You will never be happier to see poo down the toilet until your child goes after gallons of lactulose and 3 days of struggling.
  4. Watch what you say around them, they’re sponges, they soak up everything but will only tell people the bad things you’ve said. This one time in Debenhams whilst looking at eyebrow products, a Benefit assistant approached me and asked if she could help. She had very dark, large defined eyebrows to be polite. When later discussing my shopping trip with my mother, I said, the lady asked me what eyebrows I wanted and I almost replied “not like fucking yours.” Hattie then came into the room and said “yeah not like fucking yours” (finger point and all.)
  5. No one will ever look at you with love quite like your child does. The best kind of love there is. A look that can save you on your worst days.
  6. Get used to crying over everything they do. I still remember her singing a nursery rhyme all by herself for the first time. Her ballet Christmas performance broke my whole heart into a million pieces. Even her begging me with praying hands for sweets. I have never felt such pride in my whole life.
  7. They are your best friends, always. No need for much explanation. She just knows when I need that cwtch (Welsh for hug), she knows when I need that kiss or when I need her to dance to make me laugh. She just knows me as much as I know her.
  8. Anything you own, they want. From your new Mac lipstick you dream of wearing out on your child free night to your fishcake from the chip shop. You got it, they want it.
  9. They will always make you a better person. In every way. Hattie has made me kinder, she has made me want more out of life, she has made me love harder than ever before. She has taught me what’s important and what isn’t. This all gets thrown out of the window when she says “my friend in school doesn’t let me play with them” and you just suspect they’re getting picked on, you will turn into someone you never knew you could turn into. Someone you never knew existed.
  10. You will never feel love like you do for your child. Earth shaking, heart torn apart kind of love. A love that will go on forever and is unbreakable through all life’s challenges. A love that is different to any love that came before.

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Holiday shopping.

There are good and bad sides to going on holiday at the end of September and they are that your tan will last a little longer through Autumn and sometimes even Winter, summer clothes are always on sale which is perfect for holiday shopping and that when everyone is feeling depressed about being home in rainy old Wales, you’re still counting down the days to your blissful 10 days in the sunshine. Which will consist of drinking cocktails, eating whatever you want and spending time as a family, playing and just enjoying each others company instead of pissing each other off with the day to day mundane moanings of life.

The bad side is that even though all of your usual shops are still very much packed with sale summer clothes, your daughters shops aren’t. So here I am, on a Wednesday night, panicking and searching for any type of summer clothes online that are your daughters size, not too thick for the Tenerife sun and are a little dressy. There are plenty of shorts and tshirts left but do you think I can find summer dresses and little jumpsuits?! No, of course not!

Nothing is ever as simple as it used to be before I had a child but I think that’s more to do with me than it is with Hattie. I mean what is so good with being organised? Because I’m 22 and Hattie is nearly 2 and I still cant get my head around not doing everything last minute. Last minute mother right here!

2nd of August – Hattie’s two year check

I’ve been thinking for a while that I’ve needed to touch base a little and give my blog some much needed TLC but I have been so busy and so bloody stressed that I haven’t been able to just sit down and write but seeing as yesterday was such an amazing and monumental day in my life I thought that I’d make time and just document what happened in Hattie’s two year check.

Hattie has always been very forward in her little ways, the day she was born she was trying to lift her head and have a little nose around and she was walking by nine months, so I have had no concerns or worries about the way Hattie was growing or her behaviour.

The health visitor came and what should of been a 30 minute session only took 15 minutes. She couldn’t get over how forward Hattie was. Hattie built blocks, did a jigsaw puzzle, recognised which colours went where and named a few which left the health visitor in a little daze of how brilliant Hattie is! Hattie recognised the big and little spoon, pointed out the eyes, nose, mouth and tail on the cat and could say which little boy had shoes on and which didn’t. I was giggling so much because if I didn’t laugh, I was going to cry my eyes out. I am always proud of Hattie but seeing her do everything she was meant to with such ease made me feel like I am actually doing something right.

The health visitor then asked a few questions and wrote in her notes but before she left she asked me if Hattie is in nursery which I replied with a no. The health visitor was so shocked because she said she only sees children that advanced when they’ve been in a nursery from a young age.

The health visitor not only sung Hattie’s praises but also my own. She said that I was doing an amazing job and that everything I am doing with Hattie is spot on and that Hattie being so forward is all down to me and how I interact with her and play with her.

Some times all you need is a professional to say you’re doing a good job for all the silly little worries to disappear. I am a bloody good mother and yesterday, Hattie proved it!

So it looks like I am doing a great job… Next step, potty training!

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Wish us luck!!!!

Body shaming idiots..

I am absolutely sick to death of seeing people body shame others all over social media. It angers me so much that what others look like can upset certain people to the point that they either have to write about it on social media or they just sit there chatting shit about this random ‘fat’ woman they work with. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Since the weather has become somewhat warm and sunny in good old Wales, all I’ve seen is people making it their duty to tell everyone that ‘they should dress for their body and not for the weather’ – are you kidding me?! its 30 bloody degrees, walk around naked for all I care. As long as you feel cool and are happy in what you’re wearing then why should some idiot stop you from wearing a certain pair of shorts or a bloody dress.

And while I’m talking about it (or should I say ranting) why do you body shaming idiots think its ok to make someone feel uncomfortable in their own skin? So what if they weigh more than you do, you are in no way superior to them, in fact, you’re so below them that they shouldn’t even worry about the shit you spout from that horrible mouth of yours!

Since having my daughter all I have heard is about my weight. For some reason people assume because I’ve had a baby that everyone can comment on my weight and how I look. So what that my daughter is nearly two and I am still not down to the size I was before I was pregnant, so what that I have been on about 10 diets and failed every time since having her – how does any of that affect your life?

“You’re on a diet again? try and stick to it this time.”

“Well I’ll be able to do that if that fat woman can.”

“I’m off to fat club tonight – should be a laugh.”

“You shouldn’t be eating that if you want to get thin.”

I hear and see these comments everyday but it still doesn’t make it right! Stop body shaming others you wankers and concentrate on your own little life. I am still not in the size I was before having Hattie and that’s okay because you know what? I may have rolls, a flabby stomach, my legs may jiggle when I walk and my legs may be covered in stretch marks but my body did something amazing. It made my perfect little girl, it went through nine months of stretching and then so many agonising hours of labour and it gave me my best friend, my baby! So the time when I should be in love with my body, I’m not. I am so disconnected to it because of all those stupid comments. I should be loving all my rolls and jiggly bits but I am not, I am instead trying to cover them up and hide them. From now on though, fuck it! I may not have the perfect body but what I do have is the perfect daughter and my body created her and made her the perfect little girl she is today!

Everyone should love themselves enough to not need to put others down – if we all took some time to look at ourselves in the mirror, we’d all find something we hate and wouldn’t want pointing out so don’t do it to other people! There’s enough hate in the world, so don’t add anymore to it.

 

4:30am – “morning mammy”

Hattie normally isn’t one for early mornings, never has been. The earliest she has ever woken up I think is at 7, unless she is teething or unwell. So when my head started ringing with her cries and my eyes would hardly stay open, I knew my poor little baby was feeling a little under the weather. So we spent this morning eating ham sandwiches in bed and watching Tangled at half past four.

Come 6am that just wasn’t good enough, Hattie attempted to sleep but couldn’t as she was in too much pain. She was in so much pain that even her toes were curling. So off we went downstairs with a big blanket and CBeebies in the hope of that relaxing her.

Come 7am and that still wasn’t helping. Hattie searched the house for her nanny and bampie who are in Edinburgh and then went on to search for her auntie Mi Mi, who to her dismay was getting ready for work. So we curled up in auntie Mi Mi’s bed and watched tiny pop while my wonderful sister made us a delicious picnic, just in case Hattie didn’t fancy venturing downstairs today.

Come 8:30, a pack of Wotsits and a few Jaffa cakes later and Hattie is finally asleep. I tidy up a little bit, make sure Hattie is comfy and within half hour of dropping off, up wakes Hattie with the biggest smile on her face and the sloppiest kiss on mine.

And that’s when my tiredness just disappeared. It all just vanished as soon as her sparkly whites were showing and the corner of her lips were nearly touching her eyes – mammy duties can be hard work, it can drain every inch of emotion from you but this morning was one of my favourite mornings. A morning that was filled with cuddles, picnics, films and even a few smiles even though Hattie was definitely not right.

People just assume being a full time mother is a piece of cake. That all you do is play, watch tv and do sod all everyday but honestly, its hard. Its real damn hard! You not only have to take care of yourself but you have to take care of another human being that would be totally lost without you. When you’re a full time parent you have the worlds strictest boss, with the longest hours and hardly any breaks, unless you call filling and emptying the washing machine a thousand times a day a break – which believe me, I don’t as Miss Hattie is standing right next to me, making sure I do everything right. I mean imagine having your boss following you around everywhere? Even when you need to use the toilet.

Its the hardest job in the world, some days it really pushes me to my limits but its so rewarding and lovely. My Hattie is so loving, happy and content and I know that most of that is my doing and I couldn’t be more proud of Hattie and myself.

Jam sandwiches and Peppa Pig.

The last couple of nights, all Hattie has wanted to eat for dinner is jam sandwiches whilst sat naked on the sofa watching Peppa pig. The sun has most definitely taken it out of her and she is teething so much that her t-shirt is forever soaked and her cheeks are always the perfect shade of pink.

I have struggled for a few days getting her to eat and finally, she eats something! Not what I’d hope for her to eat for dinner but as long as there is something in her little tummy then I honestly do not mind – what else can a mam do?!

Like I have said a few times that I have only found out since becoming a mum is that most days your definition of a good day changes dramatically with how your toddler wakes up in the morning. Some days your bar of what is a good day is raised so high because your child has woken up in a great mood and will actually let you sweep and hoover all in one day without shouting no about a million times because as soon as there’s a perfectly swept pile of crap in the corner, she’s off, running into it and making you have to sweep all over again and others, you’re lucky enough to get her dressed and eat anything other than jam sandwiches.

Never judge your parenting or anyone else’s for that matter because you don’t know what they have had to put up with all day or even all week. You don’t know how much sleep they’ve been able to have or how many times they have had to leave their child kicking and screaming on the floor because they don’t want the food that they apparently loved a few days ago.

Parenting isn’t easy and its forever changing. You’re all doing an amazing job and you know what? So am I! This post is just to say moan as much as you brag. Show other parents that its all normal to have bad days as much as it good days. Its normal to be wishing on bed time from the minute they open their little eyes. Don’t ever feel disheartened of sad because on some days you do need a break. You do need help!

Its all fucking normal!