10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a mother.

  1. Expect the unexpected. Not much goes to plan, but that soon becomes the only plan you know.
  2. Get used to being late for almost everything, even school sometimes. My child hates Monday mornings nearly as much as me.
  3. You will never be happier to see poo down the toilet until your child goes after gallons of lactulose and 3 days of struggling.
  4. Watch what you say around them, they’re sponges, they soak up everything but will only tell people the bad things you’ve said. This one time in Debenhams whilst looking at eyebrow products, a Benefit assistant approached me and asked if she could help. She had very dark, large defined eyebrows to be polite. When later discussing my shopping trip with my mother, I said, the lady asked me what eyebrows I wanted and I almost replied “not like fucking yours.” Hattie then came into the room and said “yeah not like fucking yours” (finger point and all.)
  5. No one will ever look at you with love quite like your child does. The best kind of love there is. A look that can save you on your worst days.
  6. Get used to crying over everything they do. I still remember her singing a nursery rhyme all by herself for the first time. Her ballet Christmas performance broke my whole heart into a million pieces. Even her begging me with praying hands for sweets. I have never felt such pride in my whole life.
  7. They are your best friends, always. No need for much explanation. She just knows when I need that cwtch (Welsh for hug), she knows when I need that kiss or when I need her to dance to make me laugh. She just knows me as much as I know her.
  8. Anything you own, they want. From your new Mac lipstick you dream of wearing out on your child free night to your fishcake from the chip shop. You got it, they want it.
  9. They will always make you a better person. In every way. Hattie has made me kinder, she has made me want more out of life, she has made me love harder than ever before. She has taught me what’s important and what isn’t. This all gets thrown out of the window when she says “my friend in school doesn’t let me play with them” and you just suspect they’re getting picked on, you will turn into someone you never knew you could turn into. Someone you never knew existed.
  10. You will never feel love like you do for your child. Earth shaking, heart torn apart kind of love. A love that will go on forever and is unbreakable through all life’s challenges. A love that is different to any love that came before.

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Something for myself –

For the past two years I’ve only been a mum. I know it sounds so bad – ‘only been a mum’ but I have and I have loved every minute of it but one thing my life has lacked and one thing I promised myself on New Years was that I would find something to do for myself. May it be a hobby, a course of some kind or even bloody bingo on a Tuesday night. Whatever it is, I promised myself I would find it and I would do it.

Although I have been wanting to attend bingo with some friends for a while now, (I am 22 not 82, believe me.) I haven’t had the chance but I have found something that I absolutely love and its something for myself. I have officially started a night course in my local college. Its every Monday for a couple of hours where I am out of the house, learning something new and interacting with new people.

I am studying Theatrical and Media Makeup and I am loving it! I feel like this is something I want to learn more of, something I want to wrap myself around, something I want to do well in. I’ve only been to three classes at the moment and I’ve only learnt bruising and scars but it is incredible. I find myself searching tutorials online, watching horrors just to see the makeup and wanting to go somewhere with this.

I will always be a mum first and foremost. Nothing will come close to my darling Hattie but I am still 22, I still want to learn new things and experience life. I am so thankful for my life that I don’t want to miss out on anything! I want to wake up and take in every beautiful thing, I want to breathe in life, I want to live!

I am going to make a career doing something I love and I honestly hope this is it! I hope I get to make a living out of this. I have so many plans on what I want to do after this course that I am so excited.

I know that no matter what happens, Hattie is going to grow up incredibly proud of me, I am her mother, I am incredibly proud of my mother in whatever she does but I do want Hattie to know that I am doing something I love and that no matter happens in her life, she can too.

Good people bring up even better children. I want Hattie to grow up loving the life she lives and if she doesn’t love it, I want her to be brave enough to change whatever she needs to change.

My  daughter is my life so I am going to make damn sure her life will always be brilliant.

Screaming hell.

Who knew someone so small and so angelic looking could have lungs the size of two football pitches?!

hattie sleeping

Well the last few days, this sleeping beauty has learnt something new. Something that may haunt me in my sleep and what I’ll hear even when she’s not with me.

Hattie has learnt to scream. Screaming when she’s happy, screaming when she’s sad, screaming when she’s frustrated and even screaming in her sleep.

Screaming, screaming, screaming!

Along with her screaming she’s turned into a right sassy little girl with the most stubborn attitude. Terrible two’s they say? Bet they have nothing on what my 17 month old is putting me through. Old before her time I suppose.

My hat goes off to every other parent who’s sat on the settee, exhausted from a day full of rows, entertaining and forcing naps on toddlers who will point blank refuse anything that’s not chocolate.